


L?Y

by Kindness



Category: You Belong With Me - University of Rochester Yellowjackets (Music Video)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 13,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kindness/pseuds/Kindness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The epic love story of Devon and Luke. Apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Track 01

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gray Shadows (the_afterlight)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_afterlight/gifts).



After Rochester, Devon winds up in Boston. At BoCo. And it's – well, it's really great. But it's also pretty ironic.

No, actually, it's downright bizarre.

Because part of why he'd always planned on ending up in Boston was, Luke had planned on ending up in Boston. Luke had been born in Boston. He had lived there until he was eight and had always intended to go back. Although, the first time this came up, it had actually been because he was going to play for the Red Sox. It wasn't until some years later that it morphed into, oh, maybe he'd go there for college, maybe he'd go there for med school. (His parents had gone there for med school. That was where they met.)

But – then he changed his mind about college. And then he changed his mind about med school. And now he's a little ways into his third year at UDub, and God only knows what else he's changed his mind about now. Devon doesn't even know what he's doing.

He suspects his parents probably know, being that their families still live next door to each other. But they're not allowed to talk to Devon about Luke. Devon's not sure if they're allowed to talk to Luke about him.

Anyway, so it happens that Devon's up here in the Land of Many Doctors, and Luke's...in Seattle, of all places. And they're definitely not doing any of the things they meant to when he was six and Luke was eight.

But maybe that's normal. Or maybe it's just funny how things don't work out.


	2. Track 02

Moving is the worst. First all Luke's stuff gets put in boxes and he'll probably never see it again and then he has to say goodbye to all his friends and everyone he's ever met basically and he'll probably never see them again either and then they stick him in the car and they drive for like FOREVER and it's sooooo boring

and then they land in West Chester, Pennsylvania. In front of a yellow house with a lot of bushes and a lawn. And it's...well, it's obviously an alien vampire planet just like he expected. It might be an alien vampire planet that looks exactly like where he lived before, but he's not fooled.

Except...they do have Little League in Pennsylvania after all. And, actually, they have the Little League World Series. And, when September rolls around and he starts the third grade at his new school? It turns out people _have_ heard of the Red Sox. See, his dad promised they would have, but he was positive he was lying.

And there's Devon, who is his dad's best friend Arthur's kid but who he never really knew before. He's six, and he lives next door and likes to tell anybody who'll listen about how he just lost his first tooth. And Luke has to teach him who the Sox are, and he tries one day of T-Ball before quitting forever. And at first Luke doesn't _really_ want to come out and play with him, or really with anyone, but eventually he does. And somehow by the end of the summer he barely misses Boston at all.

~

Luke's parents work a lot. His dad starts almost the second they've moved (Luke later understands, they moved because his dad got a really important fellowship, and they only waited as long as they did because they wanted Luke to get to finish second grade in Boston); his mom starts when he starts school in the fall. Luke goes over to Arthur and Susy's every day after school and hangs out with Susy and Devon and Devon's sister Kaele.

Kaele is in the fifth grade. She has long dark red hair and, even then, she's very pretty. And basically she doesn't like anything interesting.

So, it's mostly Devon. They have a pretty good time. They watch Power Rangers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and, sometimes, when Susy gets worried about them playing too rough (not that Luke would ever really hurt Devon), they watch Wishbone.

Secret: Luke wants a dog named Wishbone more than anything in the world.


	3. Track 03

Devon used to dream in bursts. He dreamt in colorful montages and fantastic disjointed pastiches, like a cross between Yellow Submarine and Schoolhouse Rock. His dreams cribbed from his past sometimes and his present often (but not the parts he'd have expected), plus three or more futures that he _really_ hoped would never come to pass. In the midst of reading Twilight his freshman year, he dreamt he lived in a cross between Rochester and Philadelphia, where instead of Luke's window across the airshaft it was a vampire called Stephen's. Stephen was sexy and liked to walk around in the buff. Stephen only ate cereal (not sexy, but at least he was in the buff). Stephen's apartment was decorated with hundreds of sparkling disco balls, and Stephen was supposed to sparkle, too. But only when the sun came out, and, in dream-Rochdelphia, it didn't. Pages blew off dream-Devon's calendar and the seasons changed outside his other window, and he waited and waited, but year-round the airshaft had monsoons.

When he told Luke about that dream, they laughed so hard it hurt. And then Luke confiscated Twilight.

He used to tell Luke all his dreams. By phone, usually, but sometimes in person, like the week sophomore spring when he caught the flu and instead of leaving (like any sane healthy person) Luke spent six days microwaving soup and learning how to share a bed. They had never spent the night together before, but that week Devon woke up every time with Luke close enough to breathe, studying by the terrible light of the lava lamp. They joked that if this kept up Luke would have to get glasses, too, and secretly Devon didn't want to recover.

Anyway, they say dreams are all about "rehearsal," so that's probably why since the breakup Devon finds them a lot harder to retain. But it doesn't really matter, because, when they happen (and they don't always happen anymore, or they leave him before he's all the way awake), they're nothing like they used to be. They play like favorite movies now, always realistic, exclusively forward, and there's not a single one that's not direct from memory. And, of course, they're almost all about Luke.

The week leading up to Commencement, he has the same dream over and over.

 _It's Commencement – Luke's Commencement – and it looks like it's going to rain. "Called it!" Luke announces, when they meet their families for breakfast. It's true, sort of. He's been telling everyone for months that graduation'll be rainy, and at first Devon thought it was just because it was Rochester and it'd only be about mid-May and anyway Murphy's law, but later he found out Luke went online and checked the weather for every May 15th in Rochester going back four decades. Dork._

 _Cut to the quad. Pan over Luke's class, caps and gowns, blue and yellow. Flashbulb focus: Luke's smile in the line-up. And the address buzzes by and then everyone's caps are spinning into the air. Luke's has his number on it – Devon's handiwork – 29 in yellow felt and double-sided tape. It's a little crooked. Normally that's the kind of thing Luke would mind, but this time he didn't even blink. Devon watches it sail straight up and drop straight down. He doesn't have to see Luke catch it to know he does._

 _They go to the chapel for his Diploma Ceremony. Devon is so proud he thinks his heart might burst out of his chest. He makes a mental note_ not _to share this thought, or at least to think of a better way to phrase it. Luke can be very literal._

 _When they come out of the chapel, it's pouring. Thunder, lightning, what have you. Luke takes Devon by the hand and leads him away, just a little, so they're almost by the bench. There's a strange fizzing in Devon's stomach, good or bad he's not sure, because they've been dating for a year and they've never held hands. In fact, he thinks the last time Luke held his hand, they were crossing a street walking home from school. He might have been about eight._

 _Luke drops his hand and stands facing him. He has that look he gets whenever he's about to do something big, the one that's so_ Luke _somehow, purposeful and determined and so, so focused. In contrast, a million thoughts pinwheel in Devon's head, each more absurd than the last._ Thank God I wore contacts. Are we breaking up? Is he going to propose?! Oh, my God, he's dying. __

 _(None of the above.)_

 _Actually, Luke doesn't say anything. He just kisses him, hard, like they might not ever get to kiss like this again (but don't worry, they do), in front of his friends and both their families and God (dimly Devon thinks, should they really do this next to a chapel?), and in the background over the rain several of Luke's classmates start to cheer._

 _They've never kissed in public before, not like this. It's six months before Devon remembers that one time he confessed he wanted them to._

Commencement 2013 is seventy degrees and sunny.


	4. Track 04

Luke can never remember if moving from elementary school to middle school was as complicated as moving from middle school to high school. Logically speaking, it should have been more complicated: The high-school format, how you change classes, how you change teachers, has a lot more in common with the middle-school format than the middle-school does with the elementary-. But he doesn't remember it being so...messy.

Devon is Luke's best friend. Sure, he's two years younger, but he's smart and funny and really, really good at a lot of the stuff Luke isn't. And he's totally different from all of Luke's other friends, from school or from his teams. And Luke figures, well, that's because they're not his best friend, but after a while he realizes that that's just not how friendship works for them, and he and Devon are different.

Maybe it's because Devon's practically his brother. Yeah. If he had a brother (and not just Mel and the baby), he would want him to be exactly like Devon.

Or, at least, that was what he used to think. Lately, it seems like Devon doesn't get it. Or maybe it's Luke that doesn't get it, or maybe it's everyone else, but one way or another something weird is happening to them and sometimes Luke's not even sure they're still friends.

~

Luke learns something different from every girl he dates (or so he likes to say).

The lesson he learns from Ryan, the summer before high school, is that it's not actually normal to never fight with your best friend. Ryan and her best friend, Sophie, fight all the time. Luke doesn't even get what half the fights are about, except that it doesn't seem to him like Sophie's a very good best friend.

Luke and Devon never fight. That is, sometimes they argue about what they're going to watch or what they're going to do or one of them does something or says something obnoxious and the other one goes, "What's wrong with you?" and then someone has to apologize. But then they laugh, and forget about it.

Their first real fight happens because Luke does something awful. It's so awful, when he thinks about it two or five or ten years later, he still feels pretty bad. And Luke doesn't normally dwell on shit, so that's serious.

A couple of Luke's friends - Jordan, Derek, Will – were screwing with freshmen. Like they did. A lot. And that day in the cafeteria, the freshman was Devon. And Luke should have stopped it. But the whole team was there, and Lauren Brady was there, and he - wasn't as good a friend as before he would have thought. And so instead of doing what he should have done (and sixteen is old enough to know what you should have done), he laughed.


	5. Track 05

Three weeks after Devon and Luke break up, Kaele and Ian get engaged. Devon hears about it from Luke's little sister Mel, of all people. He pretends he knew already and then, the second he's gotten rid of her, speed-dials the betrothed woman in question.

"Hey!" she answers the phone. "Dev. How are you?"

"Um, pretty upset that my own sister didn't call to tell me she got engaged."

"Oh...I..."

"Wanted to wait because I lost my best friend and my boyfriend in the space of, like, ten seconds and you thought I might no longer have the capacity to feel joy?"

Kaele is more patient with him than he deserves. She wasn't always, but she is now. "No," she says carefully, "because I love you, and I thought that – no matter how happy you were for me – this would be complicated. For you. Right now."

"You know that's basically what I said."

"Yeah, but mine sounds so much less emo."

"Kaele – "

"Yeah, I know. Thanks."

"I miss you."

"Ian and I are going up to Buffalo around Valentine's Day. Maybe I could visit you?"

"Yeah. Sure. Maybe."


	6. Track 06

Luke meets Courtney in his CAS class, the very first day of freshman year. They're early – the first two kids to find the room – and he slows down a little by the door on purpose, to see which desk she picks first. (Front row, right of center.) He puts himself on the diagonal (second row, center), and almost immediately she turns and gives him a smile.

"Hey," he says, holding out his hand. "I'm Luke."

"Courtney," she responds, though she seems a little bemused to be shaking hands. Luke immediately feels like a dork. "Are you from Boston?"

"Uh..." And he must look pretty confused, because she gestures at him, and then he remembers – the hat. He takes it off, feeling about as stupid as he ever feels, and fidgets with the brim. "I'm actually from near Philly. I was born in Boston, but we moved when I was eight."

"Oh, okay. Where in Boston were you? I'm from Wellesley."

"Uh...I don't know where that is. But I was born in St. Elizabeth's and I think we lived near there, if that means anything to you."

"Oh, okay. Like, Allston, Brighton – I know where you mean."

There's a funny pause. They're both kind of smiling, but Luke's not sure quite why – and one day he will look back on this moment and consider it the first time he met anyone and knew there was chemistry. Except, technically, he didn't know anything, or he wouldn't have felt so awkward at the time.

He...has to say something. Pretty much anything. "So, um...do you miss home yet?" he asks her, and then immediately wishes he'd said nothing at all.

"Um – no, not really. I mean, maybe a little, but it's only been a week. Maybe I miss my sister. Uh, what about you?"

"I...kind of miss my dog." There's a beat of silence. "Wow, I can't believe it's the first day and I already think I'm going to have to transfer."

Courtney has a nice laugh. "I love dogs," she says, very sincerely, and Luke feels inexplicably warm all over. "What kind of dog do you have?"

"Um. He's a Golden Retriever. I have a picture, if you want to see."

"Sure." Luke flips his phone open and hands it to her. His background is the Triad of Trouble: Mel, Wishbone, and Evie. Wishbone's wearing a party hat. It was his ninth birthday, and the girls had insisted on celebrating.

"Awww. This is so cute! Are those your sisters?" She hands him back the phone.

"Yeah. The little one's Evie; she's almost four. The bigger one's Mel. She just turned eight."

"They're adorable. _And_ your dog. What's his name?"

"Um..." Luke shuts and pockets his phone, playing for time. She gives him an uncertain look, not sure why he's hesitating, and then he tells her.

It's a really, really nice laugh. He could get used to it. He thinks he'd like to.


	7. Track 07

The thing about breaking up with Luke – how it happens – is, Devon's been waiting for the end. He's been waiting since Christmas, just a few weeks ago. He's been waiting since Luke left, in August. He's been waiting since the acceptance letters – March. And, really, he's been waiting since they got together. He can remember a moment for it, too; early last summer, almost two months after the "impromptu prom," lying on the floor of his room at home. They were just talking. And he was thinking that it was probably almost the anniversary of Luke's moving to West Chester, and Luke was looking at him without saying anything, and Devon was just about to comment when he leaned in and kissed him, just like that, for no reason. And, for the first time, it felt real.

Incidentally, that was also the moment Devon decided it wasn't going to last. He doesn't know why, because he isn't a pessimist by nature – in fact, when he and Luke were just friends, he was an incorrigible optimist about him and everything to do with him (mostly). He's not sure where that optimism went, or whether maybe it just doesn't extend to the two of them together.

Which is all to say that, if he saw it coming – and he did see it coming – what happens to him afterward doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't feel like a bullet train played Red Rover through his ribcage. He shouldn't, almost the second he hangs up, miss Luke so badly that he does exactly the worst thing possible, which is crawl into bed in Luke's oldest Rochester T-shirt, turn out the lights, and pretend none of it ever happened. He definitely shouldn't wake up having forgotten it did.


	8. Track 08

About three weeks after Luke meets Courtney, he runs into her at Douglass while he's with a bunch of his friends. They have a very brief and completely innocuous conversation, but pretty much the second she smiles at him, he knows he's in for it.

For the rest of the semester, any time Luke is with any of his friends, and they run into (or sometimes just glimpse) Courtney, he gets elbowed in the ribs or punched in the shoulder. Sometimes shoved. Once, kicked. (That one led to Sean getting a minor, deserved beatdown.)

Around October, something Courtney says tips Luke off to: Apparently, his oh-so-wonderful friends talk to her when they see her, and Luke's not around. They say hi, even if she might not know them. They tell her Luke says hi, even when he doesn't (which was always, because he had no idea that they were doing this). Luke thinks, _Oh, okay, so this is what total humiliation feels like,_ and apologizes profusely. Courtney just laughs it off. She doesn't mind; it's kind of cute, if, you know, also super weird.

Devon suggests that Luke's friends would stop being obnoxious if Luke didn't let it bother him so much, but Luke's never been great at taking sensible advice.


	9. Track 09

For their one-year anniversary, they have...nothing. They're lying side by side in Devon's bed, reading different textbooks, when Devon feels Luke's hand slide under the back of his shirt.

"No," he says, without looking up. "Some of us are still in school."

"I'm still in school!"

"For like another two weeks."

Luke frowns. Devon feels his fingers tap a little rhythm against the small of his back. It tickles. "I think I study more than you do," Luke informs him.

"That's because you're a dork."

" _I'm_ a dork? You're the one who wants to study now."

Devon glances at him, and secretly he's already decided he doesn't need to finish this chapter tonight, but – well, it's not good for Luke to get everything he wants right away. "Tell me."

"Uh...I love you?"

"No, not that, but thanks for the enthusiasm. I had an actual question in mind."

"Shoot."

"Why do you always want to have sex?"

"I'm...a healthy adult male."

"...Are you calling me not a healthy adult male?"

"No." Luke pushes in closer and kisses Devon's shoulder. And because no one is naked, it's actually very sweet. Though, admittedly, a bit less fun. "I'm saying that, biologically speaking – "

Devon rolls away from him, a quarter-turn, and flips his textbook shut. "Really? Biologically speaking? That's how you're going to persuade me to sleep with you?"

"I was going to persuade that you didn't need to be persuaded."

"Because I'm a healthy adult male?"

"Yes. And because, as of two minutes ago, it's our anniversary."

"I thought our anniversary was the seventeenth."

"Of April?"

"No, of May."

"Oh. I'm counting from – wait, what are you counting from?"


	10. Track 10

Luke and Courtney's CAS class meets for the last time on December 13th. It's a Thursday, the last day before reading period, and it's getting dark as they walk out together. They talk about going home for Christmas and joke about whether this'll be the last time they ever see each other. It's obviously not true - they have seven semesters at the same school to go - but Luke is thinking the whole way that he has to ask her out _right now_ or he will never get to.

Later they'll talk about how after that night she thought he didn't actually like her, and she'll make fun of him for choking. They stop at the top of the steps by Douglass, where they always split up when walking home together, and Luke can't think of a reason not to split up, and he hasn't got the words he wants to have when he asks _this girl_ out. And she says, "Okay, well...I'll see you around, I guess."

"Um - yeah. I - merry Christmas. I mean! I know it's not Christmas yet. I just - you'll be in Boston when - "

"Yeah. Have a good break."

"You too."

She walks away, and he doesn't see her again till February. He's grabbing lunch at the Pit between classes and literally almost knocks her over.

"Oh - " he says when he realizes who she is. "Hi."

"Hi."

"How was..." _your break?_ he starts to ask, except at that moment a guy comes up and puts his arm around her. It's a pretty clear back-off - and Luke does, because he's always thought it's a really, really dick move to hit on someone else's girlfriend when you know that's what she is. But he kind of regrets it afterward, and wonders for a long time what would have happened if he hadn't.

Later, he finds out Courtney's new boyfriend's name is Noah, and he's a sophomore.

Also, a jackass.

And, eventually, Luke's least favorite guy on campus.


	11. Track 11

The most surprising thing about being with Luke, for Devon, is how long they wait to have sex. Devon had thought that, as soon as they got a chance to kiss (and for a while that was looking pretty iffy!), everything after that would happen fast. What didn't they already know about each other?

But Luke, who has apparently developed iron-clad self-control (at basically the worst possible moment, in Devon's opinion), makes him wait. Not that Devon is really on board with being _made_ to do anything, but this is sort of a two-to-tango situation.

There is a lot of waiting. There is so much waiting, Devon thinks he could write a novel about it. After all, he's been waiting nearly as long as he can remember.


	12. Track 12

When Luke is a junior, Devon comes to Rochester. And literally lives down the hall from the bathroom. It's - a little unexpected. But it works out really well. It enables them to spend a lot of time together, which otherwise they probably wouldn't, because Luke somehow never realized that between school and baseball and Courtney and RA-ing and staring the looming MCAT in the face, he really didn't have a lot of spare time. But with the windows just so, and the doors just around the corner from one another – it's almost like they live at home again. He sees Devon more than he's seen him in two years, and it isn't even that much. It's a lot of nights in Luke's room, with his door open in case his residents need anything, and a couple in Devon's. Like one Monday night in February, when Luke is printing out a lab report and Devon is reading one really spectacularly awful book or another.

"Okay, snack break. BRB."

"Sure. Do you have a stapler?"

"Yeah, under the desk, I think?"

Why it wouldn't be on the desk, or in the desk, or specifically in his top drawer next to his paper clips and a box of stapler refills, Luke doesn't know. But since Devon is always more or less sure where his stuff is, he supposes it's fine.

Except, it's like a war zone under there. Fallen spider monkey...tragically deformed spider monkey (okay, that one might be his fault; he thinks he remembers thinking it would be a good idea to dissect one of those poor monkeys, about ten years ago)...hey, is that a stuffed wombat? Weird. Oh, colored Sharpies! Does Devon know he has all these Sharpies?

And then something that looks like the stapler in question, half-hidden by discarded sheets of printer paper. Old window-notes, it looks like. Luke leafs through them, amused.

 _URBack!_

 _Because  
UR missed you!  
Obviously ;)_

 _Call Mel!!!  
Don't forget!!! _

(He did forget. It wasn't one of his best big-brotherly moments.)

 _Worst joke...  
ever?_

 _NERD._

 _You OK?_

 _Sorry  
:(_

 _I LOVE YOU_


	13. Track 13

The dance is a last-minute solution, as far as hall events go. According to Luke, they actually had another big thing planned (but he's very mysterious about what it was, so Devon doesn't know), and then it fell through, so Jess from upstairs had the idea to just get one of the Wilson Commons lounges and have an impromptu prom. In fact, they name it the "Gilbert End-of-Year ImPROMptu."

"Really?" says Devon, as Luke is printing fliers. "Really?"

"Um, the name – _although awesome_ – was not my idea."

~

Their first kiss doesn't happen at the dance. In fact, nothing happens at the dance, if you don't count the literally unbelievable ten seconds when Devon is flashing back to every horrible humiliating moment he ever had in high school and preparing for this one to be the king of them all, and _then it so isn't_.

Understatement of the century. Even with ninety more years to go. (Whee!)

Anyway, Luke and Devon basically just grin at each other like idiots for a minute, and then Luke remembers that they're _at a hall event_ , and that technically he still has a girlfriend, even if they've been on the brink of their third break-up for, like, a month. (Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous.) He folds the sign back up and starts to tuck it away, then catches Devon's eye again. They trade.

Then Luke and Courtney go for a walk. And Devon collapses in a corner with Sima and Alexis and receives his well-deserved kudos. Jon even turns up and dubs him "Sir Balls of Steel." It's a pretty good night.

Devon doesn't see Luke again for three days. That is, he sees him really briefly, between things and on his way to things and changing clothes in record time in his room. But he doesn't _see_ him, see him. And nothing gets addressed. Devon basically just sits in his room trying to study (it's reading period now, and he doesn't understand how Luke is so freaking busy when he has basically nothing to do himself, but, well, it's Luke) and unfolds and refolds Luke's note until it's starting to fall apart a little. He tells himself that, as long as he has the note as proof, it _did actually happen_. He wonders whether Luke's going to get back together with Courtney, like, tomorrow. He wonders if he already has.

On the fourth day, when he comes back from his first final, Luke is waiting by his door.

"Stalker," he accuses.

Luke grins. "I think you like it."

They have the most (amazing) awkward pause in the history of awkward pauses.

Then Devon unlocks his door, and Jon is there with a bunch of people having some kind of study group (though why you'd have a study group in your room, Devon has no idea). So they go to Luke's room, but then somebody comes by and needs something from Luke, and then –

 _Dear God, it's me, Devon. I just want to make out with him already, and I've been very patient. If this could happen for me sometime before another thirteen years go by, that would be really great. Thanks!_


	14. Track 14

_I LOVE YOU_

Luke freezes. Shuffles through all of the notes again rapid-fire, as if he could hit refresh and get a different page or –

 _I LOVE YOU_

He hears voices in the hall. _Devon_. Hastily, he pushes the whole mess of notes back under the desk, tries to rearrange it so it looks like it was never touched – will Devon notice?! – and bangs his head on a half-open drawer coming back up.

Devon opens the door to find him still by the printer (which has now finished printing), trying to look nonchalant and like he isn't in pain.

He's not very successful. Devon takes one look at him and goes, "...Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no, I'm fine – why?"

"Um...I don't know. You look – weird. Did you find it?"

Luke stares at him, nonplussed. Devon starts to look confused, too. Then, "The stapler...?" he prompts, giving Luke a look like he's a particularly dim kindergartener.

"Oh. I – didn't look yet."

"...Okay." Devon goes over the desk to get it for him. Luke crosses his fingers (for the first time in at least eight years) and _prays_ he won't look at the notes.

He doesn't. Luke staples his lab report without a hitch. He gives Devon his stapler back. He pretends to get a text from Courtney and leaves so fast he's sure Devon knows something's up.

Courtney actually does call, half an hour later, when he's hiding in his room with the lights off and the curtains shut. He picks the phone up off the floor and stares at its lit-up screen until it goes to voicemail in his hand.

~

The morning after Luke gets super-weird for no reason, they're supposed to have breakfast. He doesn't show. Or answer his door, or answer his phone.

Devon gets a text in the middle of class that afternoon. It reads:

 _Heyy sorry – I was up rlly late and overlsept. I'll make it up to you._

~

Luke is afraid to see Devon again.

Inexplicably, he's also a little bit afraid to see Courtney. And it's easy to avoid one of them at any given time, but it's surprisingly tough to avoid them both. Not to mention, most of his friends are friends with one or both of them at this point, so after about three days six or seven other people think he's avoiding _them_. And he's very busy – there's hardly anyone in his life who hasn't cracked at least one joke about how busy he is, especially this year – but somehow he's not sure he can sell that he's so busy that no one _ever_ sees him.

Plus, he's got practice, and classes, and a commitment to his residents to be his room as much as possible the rest of the time. All that together? Pretty much foils the whole disappear-into-Witness-Protection plan.

Courtney puts up with him for about a week and a half, and then she comes over and they have their biggest fight yet. It's a Friday night. He has that sick feeling – that _this is how it ends_ feeling – the whole time, but he can't tell her what's really going on. He's not sure he even knows.

It's a long, exhausting hour of screaming and crying. But she doesn't slam his door when she leaves. It's very – Courtney.

He drops onto his bed and sits there for he doesn't know how long, before slowly starting to process the fight. She didn't dump him. He will fix everything tomorrow.

There's a knock on his door. His stomach turns over, but what if someone's bleeding or puking or –

He takes a deep breath. "Come in!"

It is one of his residents, Molly, but she is neither bleeding nor puking. She opens the door just a little – maybe ten inches – and gives him a tentative smile. "Hi...are you okay?"

Fucking Rochester. Fucking dorm walls. Fucking – everything.

"I'm – fine. Thanks."

"Okay..." She looks about to leave. But then – "A-are you sure? You're shaking."

"I – oh." She means the whole – nervous-energy, fidgety, finger-tapping, knee...thing. It drives Courtney crazy. He doesn't know if it has a real name, but his mom used to say it was because he couldn't be still even for a second. (His dad used to wonder aloud if it was a precursor to Parkinson's disease.)

"It's normal," he assures Molly, and simultaneously quells it. "My best friend calls me 'naturally overcaffeinated.'"

She laughs. Luke feels a funny kind of pang and makes a mental note to tell Devon – whenever he sees Devon, that is. He peeks out one side of his curtains after Molly leaves. Devon's room is dark.

~

Saturday morning, when Devon stumbles out his door to go to the bathroom, Luke is waiting. He's in sweats with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, and he looks so sheepish Devon can't help but smile.

"Hi, creepy stalker," he says, shutting his door gently behind him so they don't wake Jon. "Can I help you?"

Luke is in serious mode. "I'm really sorry I..." He trails off.

"Are you better now?"

"Yeah. I..."

Devon raises an eyebrow at him, and the corners of his mouth twitch. Feeling on the right track, he starts to play fill-in-the-blank. "You...are suddenly craving mixed nuts. No? You...quit pre-med to become a florist. No. You...have misplaced the ends to all your sentences!"

Luke grins. There's a lightness in Devon's chest, a bright expanding all-clear like at the end of a blizzard. Luke's hands emerge from hoodie-shelter. "Hug it out?"

They do.


	15. Track 15

Luke has never noticed before, how much Devon _watches_ him. And he's not talking about baseball games, and he's not talking about when they're actually having a conversation, or anything like that. It's like – it's like when he and Courtney used to study sometimes in one another's rooms, or when all the RAs got together to make posters or door decs or whatever, and he would catch her looking at him, and she would catch him looking at her, and there would be this like...really quick secret almost-smile, and then they'd both go back to being fake 100% focused, for a while.

The week after spring break, Luke is in his room with Devon. Devon is sitting on Luke's bed, typing (pretty slowly) on his laptop and occasionally murmuring bits of what sounds like Shakespeare. Luke is reading the same paragraph of biochem over and over and starting to feel like there's no neural connection between his eyes and his brain.

He swivels away from his desk and slides down in his chair. He taps the armrest until Devon looks expectantly at him. "What?"

"Nothing, just biochem sucks. What are you writing?"

"The opening quatrain of Shakespeare's Sonnet 23 is the beginning of an explanation of the persona's inability to speak."

"Uh, come again?"

"That's what I'm writing." Devon holds up a red-covered book and tosses it to him. _Shakespeare's Sonnets_.

"Oh."

Silence. Devon goes back to typing. Luke doesn't go back to studying. Devon looks up again after three or four more minutes and then, with a sigh, puts his computer aside. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I was just... Can I ask you something?"

"Uh, suuure?"

"What's your favorite thing about me?"

Devon starts. That had clearly not been the kind of question he was expecting. "Well..." he says, looking deeply thoughtful, "I'd – have to say your complete lack of ego."

Luke laughs. "No, but – really."

Devon bites his lip. "Serious-face time?"

"Serious-face time."

"Okay...um. I have this memory."

"Yeah?"

"It's from the summer we met – like, right after you moved. When I thought you were, you know, so cool, because...I didn't know you."

"Um, thanks for that. Go on."

"I made my dad take the training wheels off my bike even though I really wasn't – ready to not have training wheels on my bike, because I didn't want you to think I was a baby."

"And then you wiped out halfway down the drive." Luke smiles, a little. "I remember."

"Yup. I – totally crashed and burned, and you...didn't laugh at me. Like, at all. And then later you helped me with my bike issues, but – yeah. That was – that's my best memory of you."

There's a pause between them. A pause like has happened between them before but happens a lot more now than it used to, like there's something one or both of them should be saying but isn't, and for the first time Luke – who does have some capacity for deductive reasoning, thank you very much – gets what it might be.

Or at least what half of it might be.

Luke chucks the book back at Devon. "Confirm," he says.

"What?"

"Of all the many and varied wonderful things that have happened between us in the last...thirteen years, your favorite is something I _didn't_ do, when I was eight."

Devon gives him a disapproving look. "Yeah...you know what else is my favorite? That time when I told you a nice story about yourself – that you asked for, by the way – and you didn't make fun of it. Oh wait, that was now, and, oh wait, you did."

~

Aaron comes to visit the last weekend in March - the end of CMU's break. Devon borrows Luke's friend Matt's car to pick him up from the bus station.

Aaron's been in Aruba for six days. He's not only tan but even blonder than usual. Devon thinks it's profoundly unfair that he's so blond and yet doesn't burn. But then, that's Aaron. They've been friends for more than two years now, if you count the part where they dated. Devon should really be used to him by now.

He should also be used to the way he asks, "So. How's Luke?" the second they pull away from the curb.

Devon gives him a halfhearted Look. "He's - fine. He's at a game right now."

Aaron does a little double-take. "He's - really? You're missing a game?!"

"I don't go to _all_ his games."

"I think you do, Dev. I think you do."

They drive in silence for about eight seconds. Devon wonders if maybe he's decided to drop it.

(No.)

"Home or away?"

"Home."

"Wow...missing a home game. Devon, I feel pretty fucking special. You are missing one of Luke's home games to pick _me_ up from the bus?"

"Currently, yes. But if you'd like to walk the rest of the way, that can be arranged."

~

Luke's phone rings at 6:50 AM Sunday morning. At first he thinks it's his alarm and gropes for it and is pretty confused because the light doesn't look quite right for eight and then he realizes someone's actually...calling him.

From home. Of course. Oh, God, he's going to kill whichever one of them it is.

It's Mel, and he doesn't quite have the heart to murder her, she sounds so excited. It takes him a little while to make out exactly what she's saying, but eventually he gathers – someone is getting married. Their cousin Marissa is getting married. It was on Facebook.

...Awesome. Luke files this incident in his head under "Reasons Melanie Is Wayyy Too Fucking Young To Have A Facebook," restrains himself from being unnecessarily short with her (because however annoying she is right now, he knows he'll feel bad for being mean once he's showered and eaten something), and hangs up.

It's a little past seven, i.e. not worth it to go back to sleep, so he revises his plan: Bathroom, then run, then shower. Then breakfast with Devon at nine, before heading over with the guys.

Of course, he doesn't account for running into Devon's friend Aaron in the hall. Shirtless. Hungover. With a hickey. It's...not the most complicated set of data Luke's ever had to interpret.


	16. Track 16

Devon wakes up to Aaron shaking him. How early? _Too early._ "Ow," he says, even though nothing really hurts, and sits up. "What?! I don't have to get up for like another hour and a half."

"I have to tell you something."

" _Now_?"

"Yes. I did something bad. Or possibly really good. For you."

" _Now_?"

"Yes."

"Okayyy. What did you do?"

"I ran into Luke."

"What? When? Luke doesn't get up until eight."

"...Devon, you have a lot of problems."

"Luke operates on a schedule, because he's basically the busiest person in the _world_. Anyway, whatever. Okay, you saw him. So what?"

"I'm pretty sure he guessed we hooked up. And he did _not_ look happy."

"Well, he doesn't really like you. I mean, you and me."

"Could you get excited about this for just one second?"

"No. Because Luke is straight and you basically just woke me up to tell me that you saw him in the hallway. Which is something that happens to me every day. Several times, every day. He was straight all those other times, too. Good night again."

~

Luke's mom calls in the middle of breakfast with Devon and Aaron. He is pretty sure he's never been so excited about a call from his mom. He takes it outside. "Hey."

"Hi, sweetheart. Does your tux still fit?"

"...Um, I...could not tell you for sure, but I don't think I've grown since the summer, so, yeah, probably."

"Could you try it on for me and just make sure?"

"...Not right...now. Oh, wait, maybe right now...no, probably not. I've got to go, Mom. I'll call you back after the game."

~

Luke really is the busiest person in the world. Devon doesn't get a chance to ask him about the Aaron debacle until almost two weeks have gone by.

It's late on a Thursday and he's putting off working on his paper, when he sees the light come on in Luke's room, and then Luke appear by the window. He starts to fumble around for some paper, but then Luke waves him over, so he tells Jon he'll be right back and goes.

Luke is going through his closet when he cracks the door. "Hey," he says. "How's it going? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"You haven't." Devon takes a seat on Luke's bed. "What are you doing?"

"My cousin's getting married. I told my mom I'd look for my tux and see if it still fit, like, two weeks ago."

"Oh. Which cousin?"

"Marissa? You've met her. Frizzy hair, used to like unicorns a lot...? It was kind of weird."

"Oh, yeah." Luke turns back to the closet. Devon tries to decide if he really wants to bring up the Aaron thing. He ends up going with yes. "Luke?"

"Yyyeah."

"Can we..." Devon trails off. And, to his surprise, Luke turns back around again and looks at him expectantly. Devon gets a little butterfly in his stomach (yes, just the one), for no reason he can think of except that Luke's full attention, somehow, can still sometimes make him nervous.

"What?"

"I wanted...to talk to you about Aaron."

"O...kay." Luke neither looks nor sounds like this is a conversation he's very interested in having. "What about him?"

"I just...you...saw him. On Saturday."

"I'm sure a lot of people saw him. You were in public for most of the day."

"Are you going to be a dick about this? Because we could just talk about this never."

"...No. No, I'm not, sorry." He crosses to his desk chair and sits down. "Tell me."

And Devon – can't. Because suddenly something about Luke, like this, right now, makes him wonder if Aaron was onto something. If this is what Luke's like when he talks to Courtney. Or what he was like, anyway. It seems like these days they fight more than they talk. Devon is fully expecting a third break-up-make-up any day now. ...Then again, if Luke was his boyfriend he never saw – but no. That way lies madness.

Luke is still waiting for him to say something. Devon has no idea how long he's been silent. Finally Luke says, "Are you trying to tell me you're dating Aaron Baker again? Because it might...not really need to be said."

Devon stares at him for a second. Then, "No! No, I'm not dating Aaron again."

Luke looks, if possible, even more uncomfortable than when Devon first brought up the subject. "O...kay. So, what, it's just...sex?"

"What?! We didn't have sex. Oh, my God, I can't believe you thought we had sex."

"...I mean. People have sex, Devon. It happens. And you're...you know, both...young and...whatever."

"Oh, my God, this is the worst conversation we've ever had. Aaron and I are _friends_."

"Yeah, but he's your ex."

"Which would make sleeping with him a _better_ idea?"

"Well, statistically speaking – don't look at me like that – it kind of ups the odds. It's not a _better_ idea, but it's...likely."

"Okay, well, it wasn't likely, and it didn't happen. We just got drunk, and we fooled around a little, and we crashed. There was no...sexing."

"'Sexing' is not a word."

"What? 'Sexing' is so a word."

"Okay, 'sexing' is a word, but not the way you're using it."


	17. Track 17

Luke's mom calls again near the end of April. She is pretty annoyed that Luke _still_ hasn't tried on his tuxedo, and he apologizes several times and promises, promises, promises, that he will do it that night.

Except then he doesn't, because he's really – kind of distracted these days, and things with Courtney are weird again, and things with Devon are – good, but also weird, and he's – finding himself getting lost in the middle of sentences and coming back to realize that whatever he's written in his lab report/paper/email doesn't make _any_ sense.

~

Devon loves Luke. He always has, he always will. But he really does wish sometimes that Luke were a little more expressive and a little less...well, less a lot of things, really, sometimes. It can vary from week to week. This week, it's "weird." Luke is just plain being weird. He's in his room more than usual – trouble with Courtney, Devon thinks, but he hasn't said anything and Devon doesn't see him pacing on the phone – he's ostensibly always just studying. And, of course he should be studying whenever he can – MCATs that summer, classes, busiest kid in the world – but...something's different. One time Devon is about to get his attention for a note when a resident comes in his open door, and Devon sees him visibly startle. Now, the Luke Devon knows does a lot of twitchy things, but startling isn't one of them. When they were little and played hide-and-go-seek, Luke always thought it was hilarious to catch Devon going by and then scare the living daylights out of him. And Devon could never pay him back. He thinks Mad-Eye Moody, if he were real (and still alive), would approve of Luke. Constant vigilance!

But really not now. In fact, he has no idea, the Sunday evening that's the oddest time yet, that Devon is watching him. It's kind of a bummer, really; part of the reason their window-communication system has always worked so well is, Luke has an almost eerie awareness of when Devon wants to say something. They used to joke that maybe they were psychic and they just didn't know it yet. And then they hit puberty, and Devon started hoping really, _really_ hard that that wasn't the case, because, if it were, then Luke would know – everything. And Devon would have to change his name and move to Nepal.

Luke jumps. Devon's puzzled for a second, then sees him pick up his phone. Courtney, maybe? No – Courtney wouldn't have anything to say that would make Luke cringe like that. Probably his mom. Devon crumples up the note he'd started and writes a new one.

 _Tux?_ he holds up, once Luke's off the phone.

Luke has the most hilarious put-upon expression. Devon sees him reach down and riffle through his stock signs. _OF COURSE._

 _You're an idiot.  
I'm coming over.  
PUT IT ON!! :[_

...When he gets to Luke's room, of course Luke has not even started putting on the tux. Devon is really not sure what's up with him. He appears to still be looking at his pile of signs, and when Devon says, "Hey! You!" as a preface to a mild scolding, he drops them all. Devon grins and flops onto Luke's bed to watch him pick them up. "Wow, you must be such a good athlete," he teases. "But you don't play a sport where it matters if you drop the ball, right?"

"Ha, ha. Are you really here to supervise me?"

"Yes. I was thinking I could put on _Tainted Love_ and things might get...interesting."

Luke is standing up with the collected stack, and he – doesn't laugh. Honestly, he looks a little freaked. Which, in turn, makes Devon a little worried.

"I was kidding."

"I know," Luke says quickly. "Sorry, I'm..."

"Really weird this week?"

Luke looks for a second like he wants to say something. But he doesn't. He just shrugs and goes to his computer, and – puts on _Tainted Love_ before going to his closet. And Devon starts to laugh, and remembers why they're still friends. Luke gives him a look. "I'm not going to dance," he warns.

~

Luke sends his mom an email as soon as Devon's left, because it's too late to call her back but he certainly doesn't want to get disowned over something as silly as forgetting about a tuxedo. (He should at least have crashed the car or something.) Then he sets about rearranging his signs (he collected them pretty haphazardly, when usually they go in at least some semblance of an order).

Devon comes back when he's partway through. For some reason, his impulse when the door opens again is to fold the signs up and hide them in his jacket.

Devon catches him in the act and gives him the weirdest look. "...What are you, alphabetizing? You don't have to hide it from me; I already know you have problems."

Luke chooses not to acknowledge this. "What do you want?"

"I was going to ask if you were coming to lunch tomorrow. You never answered my text."

"Oh – oh. Um, yeah, sure, whatever."

"That's – not an answer."

"That's – because I don't really know."

"Okayyy. Check your calendar and then let me know, _okay_?"

"I will."

Devon leaves again. Luke, for possibly the first time ever, locks the door behind him and pulls his signs back out to finish going through them.

One of them reads:

 _I  
LOVE  
You._

Luke's been writing iterations of it, on and off, for – a couple of weeks now. Just – because he can't seem to help himself, like when he used to get bored in high school and start compulsively solving long division. (Devon used to doodle, "...like a normal person," he said.) So this sign is not the first of its kind. It is the first one that doesn't get thrown in the trash, though. Somehow, tonight, Luke doesn't have the heart to crumple it up.

Well, he'll probably want to throw it away later. For now he'd better just make sure it's not in the Stock Stack (that's what he calls it in his head. He actually thinks Devon would appreciate the alliteration – he only recently came up with it – but Devon would also make fun of him for about a half an hour, so).

He folds it into eighths and tucks it into his jacket pocket. Probably it'll be next summer before he wears this tux again.


	18. Track 18

Luke is the most fidgety person Devon knows who's over the age of ten.

When they were kids, Luke was always moving. He'd go from running to jumping to climbing whatever was closest to hand (Devon's mother was terrified he'd fall and break his neck, and Devon's too once Devon started to follow suit), and he never seemed to need a break. On Saturdays, Devon woke up and ran from one kitchen to the other through their backyards, and he'd rarely eat breakfast first and half the time he'd still be in his PJ's (the other half his mom would catch him and make him change first), and Luke was always already up. He had usually been up for like four hours already, eating bowl after bowl of oversugared cereal and watching cartoons. His parents drank a lot of coffee and always seemed to be tired. At the time, Devon thought it was because they were so busy at work – and they were – but, by the time Luke was in high school and taking all those classes and still playing three different sports, it had occurred to him that some of it might have been having a kid that never seemed to stop.

They had Mel when Luke was ten. They had Evie when Luke was fourteen. Mel was an easy baby (though she's since turned out to be quite as hyperactive a kid as Luke was), but Evie screamed all the time. Devon still can't understand why they chose to have her, cute though she is now. Luke, even all grown up (ish), is more than enough for Devon to handle. He couldn't keep up when they were little; he can't keep up now. The only difference is, now he knows he doesn't have to.

~

Luke and Devon eat breakfast together, when Luke hasn't spent the night with Courtney, and sometimes when he has, but then they meet at Danforth or downstairs. When they're both in their rooms, though, Luke picks Devon up (because Luke is _always_ ready first), and scenes ensue that remind Devon powerfully of their shared childhood.

Devon's rarely ready to leave, like, right the second Luke knocks in the morning, though he is usually awake. He lets Luke in while he's looking for pants or socks or shoes, and Luke wanders from point to point around him and plays with things. "...What's this? ...Where'd you get this? ...Whoa, I can't believe you still have this.... Hey, dude, whose pink hairbrush?"

Devon gives him a withering look and points at his bed. "Emily Morgan, and, oh, my God, I can't believe you're someone's authority figure. Sit down."

Luke complies. Devon goes back to rummaging in his closet. After a minute, he hears a faint tapping sound. When he turns to frown at Luke, it has stopped. Then he hears a slight squeaking. Which then also stops. Then –

"...Dev?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm bored."


	19. Track 19

Luke's pending relationship with Devon – if that is in fact what it is – progresses...oddly.

Day 1: I LOVE YOU??? Normal people don't get to this for, like, months.

Day 5: They see each other again for the first time since this revelation, and get to spend basically no time together. Rinse and repeat for, oh, a week.

Day 11: Finals end. They get to spend maybe an hour together, while Devon's finishing up packing, and then his parents pick him up and he's gone. And Luke can't leave, because of baseball. It's the first time he thinks he's ever minded.

Day 18: Luke finally, finally gets home. He has a welcome-home dinner at Devon's with both their families, and the whole time there's this prickly anticipation between them, like, _What happens now?_ And he really doesn't know, for sure, exactly. It's like puberty all over again, except not riddled with embarrassment.

Okay, maybe a little embarrassment. Kaele, for instance, has driven in from Philly for the occasion, and she _knows_ something's up. She'd probably never guess what, but still.

Luke kisses Devon for the first time in the kitchen between dinner and dessert, while both their hands are full. He tastes like orange juice and salt, and they very narrowly escape getting caught by Mel.


	20. Track 20

Devon really wants to like Courtney. He does. It's – Luke likes her so much, and she likes him a lot, and she seems to like Devon, too, which is nice, because, well, there have been girls who _really_ didn't, but it's just – there's a long history here. There's a precedent for, when Luke is serious about a girl, bad things happen.

December 2001: Nikki Hansen. They dated for three weeks and Devon and Luke literally stopped talking. Luke was his _best friend_ , and from Thanksgiving to Christmas he might as well have been imaginary. (Luke still denies this ever happened.)

July 2002: Angie O'Reilly. What a bitch. They met at camp, and she was really popular, and for about two and a half weeks Luke was The Most Whipped Anyone Has Ever Been. Seriously, he should have gotten an award. She took up _all_ his free time and hardly let him ever see anyone else, even Devon and his guy friends, and she convinced him to be mean to people, _and then she made fun of him behind his back!_ And Luke wouldn't believe Devon when he told him. And then he told Angie what Devon had said (BECAUSE HE IS JUST THE DUMBEST EVER SOMETIMES), and everything got out of hand. That was pretty much the worst summer ever, until they left camp and Luke came to his senses, and Devon wasn't even in middle school yet.

May 2003: Ryan Daniels. Yes, her name was Ryan, and, actually, she was really nice. But they dated for six whole months, and it was the first time Luke had ever had a real girlfriend, and he walked her home from school/practice/the bus every single day and went to movies on the weekends that he would otherwise not have been caught dead at. And Devon had to help him make mix CD's and go along to get her birthday present and then to get her Christmas present (except, then they broke up, so it turned out to be Kaele's Christmas present, but still), and he saw the way Luke looked at her and how he kissed her goodbye on the sidewalk and for the first time he realized that it might not just be about Luke having less time than usual or about his really bad taste in girls. And then he felt so awful and lonely and _afraid_ (because what would happen if Luke found out and then didn't want to be his friend anymore???) – and then Kaele figured out that he'd figured it out and cornered him in her room and made him talk about it. And that Christmas she gave him his very first journal. And, the Christmas after that, she got their parents to buy him a guitar. "It'll go better with your teen angst," she joked. "And travel better than the piano."

February 2004: Liza Hoffman-Cohen. Valentine's Day of Luke's freshman year of high school. It...actually, Devon doesn't remember exactly what happened here. But those all-caps in his seventh-grade poetry book look pretty upset about it still.

October 2005: Victoria Schaefer. A friend (now ex-friend) of Devon's. She was a year older than him and a year younger than Luke. And she knew _exactly_ how he felt. She also knew how much of a jerk Luke was being to Devon at the time, because that was the peak of what has since been entitled the, "No, Luke, You _Were_ A Tool," Era. And Luke asked her to homecoming, and she went. (Devon was pretty mad at Luke for that one, too. Luke has since apologized for all of high school.)

April 2006: Lauren Brady. He actually never got to go out with her; he just kind of pined. Kaele was a friend of hers and made a _lot_ of fun of him. Devon (who had mostly outgrown being emo by this point) said he should go for it and that they could be "Luke and Lauren." Luke didn't get it.

Courtney reminds him of Lauren Brady, especially when Luke first mentions her. He can kind of see the appeal.

~

Luke is so, so busy during orientation. So is Devon, for that matter. It's not until late the third night that he even gets to see Luke's room, which, as it turns out, is just around the corner from his.

Wait, really?

Yup. From Luke's window, actually, he can see across the corner of the courtyard into his own (perpendicular) room. His lights are off and his roommate's not there, but he can see – he can _read_ – the green letters on his digital clock. It's definitely his clock. WTF.

Luke is over by his desk, checking his email, oblivious to Devon's perplexity. Devon squints at his clock again, just to be sure he's right, and then drops onto Luke's bed.

"So," he says.

"...Yeah?" returns Luke, without turning around.

"Is there, like, an RA mafia, or something?"

That gets his attention. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you rig my room assignment?"

"What?! No. I don't – how would I even do that?"

"I don't know, but..." He frowns. He looks at Luke. Luke looks back. He tries to parse his expression, but – well, it's Luke. "I just don't understand. Are you sure there's not some explanation?"

"Uh – good luck? _Bad_ luck? Pure chance? I mean, statistically speaking – " Devon gives him a Look. He stops, grinning. It's the world's most endearing, ever so slightly smug grin – he wears it a lot. Devon's always torn between an impossibly strong (and, well, impossible) urge to jump his bones and an only slightly less misguided urge to kick him in the teeth.

Except that second one never lasts long enough, and the first one is forever.

Luke tugs open one of his drawers and tosses Devon an unopened ream of printer paper and a brand-new pack of Sharpies. Chisel-tip.

Only Luke.

Who's still grinning, and then, "Hey, I thought of an explanation," he volunteers.

"What?"

"Fate."


	21. Track 21

It doesn't rain as much in Seattle as Luke expected. He'd kind of thought it would pour all the time, like the rain version of a snow globe or a real-life water cycle diagram, but it doesn't. Most of September it's actually really hot. It isn't until October that things kind of go downhill.

"Can you be homesick for a person?" he asks Devon over the phone, the night before Halloween. It's drizzling again, the kind of rain where through the glass you can't tell if it's raining or just wet, and walking around outside there don't seem to be any drops but ten minutes later you're soggy.

It takes him a minute to answer, slow and sleepy. Luke remembers with a strange seizing in his chest that it's almost two in Rochester. "Is that your emotionally stunted way of saying you miss me?"

"No," he lies. And then, rather cautiously, "I do miss you."

"...I know." Beat. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you whispering?"

"I'm not – oh, shut up."


	22. Track 22

People who call you at four in the morning pretty much fall into five categories:

1\. They're about to tell you someone died.  
2\. They're drunk.  
3\. They've been arrested.  
4\. They're drunk and they've been arrested.  
5\. They're Luke, and they drove six hours from Rochester and now won't tell you why.

"So...do you want to...watch something?" Devon ventures, very awkwardly, once he's managed to sneak Luke into the house and up the stairs. He perches on the arm of his chair and watches him, on the bed. He looks so oversized and out of place alongside Devon's decade-old comforter (it has colorful trucks on it), Devon wants to laugh. And – and there's something else there, that's kind of sad and strange, because Luke's been in his room a thousand times before and this is the first time it's ever felt off.

Of course, it's also four in the morning on a Tuesday. That could be a contributing factor.

"...Luke?"

"Sorry – "

"No, it's fine, I just – are you – "

Silence. Devon wonders if he should offer to make some coffee, just for the sake of saying something.

And then Luke starts to smile, a little. It makes Devon a tad uneasy. He's not sure if Luke can sense that or not, but then he grins. "What's that look?" he says.

Devon rubs his arm nervously. "What look?"

"You have a look."

"I have a look?"

"Yeah, it's...you have a look."

"I don't – I don't – know."

More silence, but it's different now. They both shift. Devon slides down into the seat of his chair and waits.

"I think my parents might be getting divorced."

"O – oh." Ouch. Um. Not what he was expecting, but then, he doesn't really know what he was expecting. "Really?"

"I – yeah. I mean, maybe not, look, I don't really know. It's – whatever, it's just, it doesn't make a lot of sense. To me, I mean. I guess I don't know _why_ but I feel like if it was going to happen it should have already happened, like when I was four, or five, or six, or before we moved here, or – well, I – I don't know." He stops. It seems to take him a second to remember to breathe. Devon, too.

"I...don't know what to say. Sorry. Well, except that I'm kind of like, 'Well, Evie's six,' but that's – probably just about the least helpful thing I _could_ say."

"Actually, you know, I was thinking that? Because that has to mean they were having sex, right? As recently as seven years ago."

"Ugggggh." Devon makes a face.

"What?"

"Can you not talk about your parents having sex, please?"

"Why? It's not like I'm talking about _your_ parents having sex."

" _Luke_..."

"Okay, okay...but – I have to ask."

"What?"

"You know where babies come from, right?"

"Shut up."

~

"He said I had a look," Devon tells Aaron, that day at lunch.

Aaron puts his chin in his hands and considers this. "What kind of look?"

"I don't know. He just – said I had a look. What do you think that means?"

"Ummm. Probably that you had a look. Or, possibly, that it's really obvious you're secretly in love with him. And! Maybe he wanted to reveal he's secretly in love with you, too, and could you maybe get married and adopt lots of Chinese babies?"

"Okay, well, first of all, 'lots of Chinese babies'? Makes it sound like it's going to be a multicultural Cheaper by the Dozen. Which it wouldn't be, because we would only have like two to four kids. And second of all, I hate you. I'm getting new friends."


	23. Track 23

Breaking up with Devon is nothing like Luke would ever have expected, for two main reasons.

Reason #1:

Luke had always imagined that, if he and Devon broke up, it would be a really big deal. It would happen for a really good reason, and it would make a lot of sense, and it wouldn't be very nearly an accident.

What happens in reality is: It's like seven at night on a Friday, in Seattle. It's ten in Rochester. They're arguing about something, because – because that's what couples do, sometimes, especially when they live 2600 miles away from each other. By the next day, Luke (admittedly pretty hungover) can't remember anything about the argument except that it was stupid.

He gets frustrated. He says something like, "Look, maybe we should just – "

and then stops, because maybe we should just what? Was he about to say that maybe they should just break up? Because they shouldn't break up. They should never, ever break up. This is Devon.

Who is suddenly very, very quiet on the other end of the line. And then echoes, so evenly that it hurts inside Luke's bones, "...Maybe we should just – what?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Never mind."

"No, you should say what you were going to say."

"I wasn't going to say it."

"Yes, you were."


	24. Track 24

Devon and Luke have the "coming out" conversation the summer Devon turns thirteen. It's not really a conversation that needs to be had, but Devon feels like they should have it, just for the sake of...completeness. He thinks he might be a little bit channeling Luke, who at fifteen is just starting to turn into one of those people who, if tomorrow were the apocalypse, would have enough bottled water.

He goes back and forth for two or three weeks on how he wants to do it. And then it ends up being really impulsive, and via their windows, and pretty much the least eventful discussion they ever have.

 _hi. :)_

 _HI._

 _I like boys.  
:|?_

 _DO YOU  
LIKE ME?_

 _NO!!!!  
(ew.)_

 _OK :)  
MATRIX  
MARATHON?_

 _Coming!_

~

Devon's first real boyfriend is Aaron Baker, in the spring of junior year of high school. He's lean and blond and his eyes are scary blue, and his hair spends most of its time getting in the way. He's just about the best-looking guy Devon's ever seen in real life. Add in "exactly the same age," and "also gay," and, somehow, miraculously, "into Devon," and, well, of course they go out.

They have a lot in common. Aaron plays guitar. (Really well, actually. He's been playing for a lot longer than Devon.) He likes _How I Met Your Mother_ and _Torchwood_ and _Lost_. He gets Devon hooked on _Alias_ and _Psych_. Devon gets him hooked on _Gilmore Girls_ and _The West Wing_.

(It's possible they're a little too into TV.)

Aaron's birthday is in April. Devon thinks he should write him a song or a poem or something (shut up), but nothing comes to mind. He plays with chords and verses for almost three weeks, but apparently he just doesn't have any Aaron-related art in him. He calls Kaele in Buffalo to whine about it. "Maybe you're too happy," she suggests. "I learned from Logan Echolls that they don't write songs about the ones that come easy."

Devon ends up getting Aaron sheet music. Aaron really likes it. They make out for like an hour before they're interrupted by curfew. It's - nice.

And then he goes home and tries his very, very hardest (ha, ha) to get off thinking about it, and about Aaron, and every kind of logic says it should be _so_ easy because not only have they now hooked up for real but, seriously, the kid is a Tiger Beat cover boy.

But there's no logic in the universe for this, and Devon's pretty sure there's no _Veronica Mars_ quote either.

~

Luke and Kaele come home for the summer in May. Devon is super, super nervous for them to meet Aaron, and not just because of his own complicated feelings and the fact that his sister has an unnerving habit of giving him Knowing Looks. Devon and Luke – they've done Luke-and-girl before. Usually with disastrous results. But they've never done Devon-and-guy, and Devon – doesn't know what to expect.

They go out to dinner in a big group: Devon's family, Luke's family, Kaele's latest hockey-playing boyfriend, and Aaron.

It goes really, really well. Aaron is exactly as charming and adorable and cool as if Devon had written him a script (except Devon could never write Aaron this funny), and everyone gets along really well. Even Kaele's hockey-playing boyfriend. Who, as Luke later puts it, is "just about the most boring dude I've ever had the pleasure of dining with."

That's after Aaron's gone. Devon's expecting him to stick around a while, because he usually does when they get dinner or a movie, but tonight he bows out early. He says Devon should spend some time with his family, and anyway he's got a project due Monday. Devon wonders if that's just an excuse, and really he can tell how badly Devon wants to spend time with Luke.

 _He's my_ best _friend_ , he insists to his imaginary too-perceptive boyfriend, _and I_ never _see him. It's normal to miss him! It's normal to want to hang out! It's – not like anything would ever happen._

"What do you think?" Devon asks Luke, when after ten minutes of riffing on Kaele's boyfriend he's finally gotten up the nerve.

Luke is sprawled on the floor near a pile of Devon's clothes. But he props himself up on his elbows at the question, and the laughter smooths out of his face. "What do I think about what?"

"Aaron."

"Oh. Uh." Luke shrugs a little, adjusts, sits up. "I – he's cool."

Devon stares at him. "Anything else rolling around in there?"

"I mean, I don't know, I met the guy like an hour ago."

"So...you have ten minutes' worth of comedy on Kaele's unbelievably dull boyfriend, and on mine you have no thoughts beyond 'he's cool.'"

Now Luke looks a little annoyed. "I – "

His phone buzzes. Of course, he breaks off mid-sentence and checks it. It's a text. He answers. Devon resists the urge to throw something at his stupid Frankenstein-shaped head.

"Courtney?" he says instead, very calmly.

Luke puts his phone away. "Yeah," he says warily.

"Are you dating yet?"

"No."

"Do you hate my boyfriend?"

"I don't hate your boyfriend!"

"Tell me what you really think. Come on. It's me."

"I think..." Luke looks from one side of the room to the other, as if he thinks people might be listening. Alternately, as if he just _really_ doesn't want to look at Devon. "Ithinkhsnrgnforyou."

"Uh, I'm sorry, again in English please?"

"I think," Luke repeats, quite clearly this time, and he looks right at Devon, and Devon thinks for a second he maybe stops breathing, "that he's not really good enough for you."

Devon gapes. It's a miracle his mouth doesn't just fall open like in a cartoon. "But – he's _perfect_."

"I mean, he's fine. I just – "

"N-no. Luke. He's not fine. He's _perfect_."

"Okay, he's perfect. Case closed."

"Luke – seriously. What do you mean, you don't think he's good enough for me? Were we not at the same table tonight?"

"No, look, Dev...I'm not saying there's anything wrong with him. He's a cool kid. Really. I just – " And then he breaks off, like he always does, and he shrugs, and Devon pretty much knows he won't get anything else out of him. Except he does, if a smile counts, and it does count, because when Luke smiles it's like heat lightning. "Dev. It doesn't matter. If you like him, you – like him." He gestures vaguely. "He's perfect. Case closed."


	25. Track 25

Reason #2:

Luke has seen other people go through horrible, horrible breakups. And he had always imagined that, if he and Devon broke up, he would be a mess. His whole life would be a mess. Possibly he wouldn't get out of bed for a week. It would be like when Lily left Marshall, except he wouldn't cry.

What happens in reality is: Apparently, Luke is...just not that kind of guy. He wonders if Devon was right when he made jokes about him being emotionally stunted. He goes to the gym a lot. He studies a lot – a _lot_. Even for medical school. It's kind of good, in a way, because, you know, you can never study enough. Seriously. And that quarter and the next, all his evaluations turn up marked straight down the "Exceeds Expectations" block.

Apparently, he should get dumped every day of the week.

His roommates disagree. "Luke. We're worried about you," Kara informs him. "You haven't gone basically anywhere fun since – since. We're going to a party tonight at Mark's – you should come."

"Thanks, but I'm good."

"Luke? This is an intervention."

"Kara, interventions are for people who have a problem. _I_ have exactly no problems. _I_ am fine. In fact, I'm better than I've ever been. I'm so great, you wouldn't even believe it."


	26. Track 26

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Devon, who lived in a brick-red house on a quiet street in a quiet part of Pennsylvania. He lived with his father, his mother, and his sister Kaele. Kaele was four years older than Devon, and her real name was Mikaela (but no one ever called her that unless it was the first day of school, or possibly she was in trouble).

Devon was almost six when Luke Francis moved in next door. It was a hot, sunny Saturday, exactly one week before his birthday, and he was eating Ants on a Log (no, not real ants on a log. It's an awesome snack). Kaele had a friend over – Celeste, who was her best friend at the time (but later moved to California and was never heard from again, until she found Kaele on Facebook, like, ten years later, and by then she was married to this dude named Sequoia, and she had a kid named Butterscotch, and, well, it got a little weird) – and they were playing mancala.

Devon had never had a best friend. He had had some friends, kind of, in kindergarten – he played Four Square with Amy Schlagle and Don't Touch the Ground with Connor Dreyfus and Riley Shanahan and Sam O'Neill who was a girl really but played with the boys, and sometimes Maggie with the long last name would share her pudding (but then they got in trouble because you really weren't supposed to share pudding because of germs, so after that they never shared pudding, but sometimes there were fruit snacks or crackers)...

But everyone had an Official Best Friend already, or that was what it felt like mostly, and Celeste came over every Tuesday no matter what. And they'd play mancala and they'd play Barbies and they'd make cookies sometimes or they'd do their homework together or they'd practice cartwheels and handstands on the front lawn, and sometimes Kaele would let Devon hang around, and sometimes she wouldn't. But even when she did it wasn't like they were his friends, because Kaele was his sister and Celeste was her friend and they were just being nice. And your big sister being nice to you didn't count.

Luke's dad was Devon's dad's best friend. His name was Andrew, and before they moved in next door, Devon would hear them on the phone sometimes. He liked to come and climb into the rolly chair with his dad, and listen. And they would talk about totally different stuff from Kaele and Celeste, and they didn't sound the same even (after all, they were grown-ups), but it was just like...exactly the same somehow.

And Devon wanted exactly that kind of best friend.

And then there was Luke, who turned out to be...

not that kind of best friend at all.


	27. Track 27

It's been more than five years since the last time Luke bookended his day with Courtney.

She's different. Her hair is longer – maybe lighter, too, than he remembers – and the braid it was in this morning is falling apart. She has on Converse and paint-splattered jeans, and when she gestures it never stops surprising him, the winking ring on her left hand.

Maybe it's happiness, or maybe it's the yellow light of his new west-facing window, but she doesn't look like the girl he broke up with (any of those times) at all.

She looks like the girl he thought he'd never get, and the girl he thought he'd never keep.

Well. That last part turned out to be true, one way or another.

The silence between them is warm and familiar, as they try to build his self-assembly bookshelf, and the words are, too.

"I don't understand..." she says, as he tosses her the instructions.

"Yeah, neither do I. So much for doctors being smart."

She laughs. "I was actually – I don't understand...where you kept your books before."

"Um, mostly on the floor." He pushes an assortment of Styrofoam pieces aside, unearths the Domino's they had for lunch. "Or in my closet. Or anywhere they'd fit, really. I mean...I meant to shelve them sometime, or at least find some milk crates or something, but...it never happened."

"I guess you were busy. All the time. For four years."

He looks up, and she's grinning, and he feels the corners of his mouth tug into a smile, too. "I was busy. All the time. For four years. How do you think I got that fancy diploma?"

"Which one? The one that doesn't make you any good at building bookshelves?"

"Yeah, that'd be the one."

His apartment door slams, and they both jump a little. A wave of fresh dust motes shimmers upward in Luke's line of vision as Jason, Courtney's fiancé, rounds the corner.

"Okay," says Jason, dropping Luke's keys with a clatter, and then, more carefully, setting down the Poland Spring pallet in his arms, "I couldn't – what?"

Jason's looking at Courtney. Luke looks, too, and the way she's frowning at the bookshelf instructions does seem to merit mid-sentence stopping.

"Uh-oh. What?" he echoes Jason. "Am I missing something? A shelf? A bracket? An incredibly integral structural piece?" A fraying edge of the Domino's box, worried at reflexively between his thumb and forefinger, starts disintegrating into tiny curls of paper.

Courtney squints at the diagram again, then puts the instructions down. "A hammer."

"Oh."

"Do you have a hammer?"

"I don't have a bookshelf. Do I look like a guy who has a hammer?"

"I mean...you look like a guy who _should_ have a hammer. But apparently looks can be deceiving." She gets to her feet and starts to dust herself off. "Sorry, baby," she says, addressing Jason now and crossing over to him, "I would've called you if we'd – "

"It's okay." Jason, who is by far the nicest guy Courtney's ever been with (and Luke is counting himself when he says that), is already retrieving Luke's keys. "I think I saw an Ace Hardware or something...maybe a couple blocks over?"

"Oh, dude, come on – I'll go." Luke abandons the now-slightly-mutilated pizza box and stands, too. "Maybe you'd be better at this bookshelf shit anyway."

"I don't know," considers Jason, who's nearly Luke's height but built more like a runner. "I might not look enough like a guy who should have a hammer."

Courtney, in the circle of his arm, gives him a swat. "Luke – maybe your neighbor has a hammer."

"I don't know, Court. I do look like a guy who should have a hammer. I don't know if I can live up to those expectations just by begging and borrowing."

"Well. As long as you're not stealing."

Luke grins at her – at them both – and heads for the door. Their voices recede into a murmur behind him, a warm white noise punctuated with bright bursts of laughter. It's a sound like coming home.

In the hall, the nearest apartment door is number 29, on the other side. Luke stands in front of it and checks his watch three times before managing to knock. It takes him nearly forty seconds to gear up. It's weird.

But not nearly as weird as who answers.

**Author's Note:**

> It takes a village to raise a fic! and I expound on this [here](http://kindness-says.livejournal.com/5425.html#cutid3)! but, for ease of casual browsing, this is the short list:
> 
> The deeply patient frenchrabbi. The historically relevant Care. The unexpectedly embroiled S. And the hilariously (and obliviously!) inspirational Lexie. Thank you!!


End file.
